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And please don't bring coupons for totally unrelated products, either.
theoldwolf: (Default)
This particular website always gives me both a laugh, and the shudders - dealing with the public is a horrendous challenge. Today I decided to submit one of my own; I reproduce it here, because not all submissions get published. But it's worthy... it's worthy.

I own a small company that sells a nutritional product online. Our 100% satisfaction guarantee states that customers can send a product back for any reason if they're not satisfied.

Customer: I want a refund for this product that I bought.

Me: I'm sorry you had a problem - what seems to be the trouble?

Customer: It's not working.

Me: I'm very sorry to hear that. Just return the bottle and I'll be happy to refund your money.

Customer: I can't. It's gone. And I want a refund on all five bottles that I've bought over the last year.

Me: Um. That would be like going into [Major Grocery Chain] and telling the manager you want a refund on a year's worth of groceries because you're not happy with your health.

Customer: How dare you compare your dinky little outfit with [Major Grocery Chain]! Your guarantee says 100% satisfaction, and I'm not satisfied!

Me: Ma'am, normally we'll refund the price of the initial order - and you've been using this product repeatedly for a year. But I tell you what. Just to keep you happy, I'll refund you half the price of the product you bought. That's the best I can do.

Customer: You should be ashamed! You are a thief and a criminal, and I'm telling everyone I know not to ever buy from you! How can you sleep at night? *Click*

theoldwolf: (Default)
And not only New York, but the entire nation.

La Librairie Française, located in Rockefeller Center for 74 years, and which I have patronized and loved, is being forced to close by skyrocketing rents. Their lease is up on 30 September, and the landlord wants to triple the annual rent to $1 Million.

That's sad, and it's wrong. Article here.

theoldwolf: (Default)
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Well, in my businesses, the customer is always right, except when they're an @$$hole.

I sell a nutritional product over the net which I import from Canada. Darn good product, too, I put my name and my reputation behind it. We offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee on the product, if the customer isn't happy they get a full refund, no questions asked. In the last 3 years I think I've had 4 returns, one because a lady got pregnant and was advised not to take any supplements, the other 3 because it was not what they wanted, or some such.

Last year I had one lady call me up and say that the product wasn't doing the job, and wanted a refund. This was after 5 months of using the product, and using 5 bottles of it. I told her that would be like going back to Albertson's after a year of shopping and demanding a refund on your year's worth of groceries because you weren't healthier. I sent her back half her purchase price, which in my estimation was more than generous, and for my trouble I received an abusive letter calling me a thief and a criminal, and wondering how I slept at night.

Well, one @$$hole out of thousands of satisfied customers isn't bad in a retail business, so I've got no reason to complain, but this dip$h17 really stood out in my mind. What a weed...

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