An Open Letter to Microsoft

Dear Microsoft:

This is my system:



It looks pretty robust, don't you think?

1) THEN WHY THE HQIZ DOES WINDOWS LIVE MOVIE MAKER (chhxxxxtxxt-paTOO!) KEEP CRASHING WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO IS MAKE A 25-MINUTE MOVIE WITH THREE TITLES? THIS PROGRAM IS A PIECE OF CAMEL EJECTA!11!

2) Yes, my system came from Dell, pre-loaded with Win7 Pro... but WHY IN THE HQIZ DO I HAVE TO CALL DELL FOR SUPPORT? THE ISSUE IS WITH *YOUR* STINKING SOFTWARE.

3) For years you have foisted off such abortions as Windows NT, Windows ME, and lately Windows (chhxxxxtxxt-paTOO!) Vista onto the unsuspecting public, and despite almost universal opprobrium, no one at your company has ever had the cojones to step up and say "Yeah, we really up with those operating systems, we're sorry and we'll try to do better." Could it have something to do with the fact that you' think you're bigger than God, and you don't really care what your users think? If I were running your company and something like Vista ever slipped out the door, the next day's headlines would read

MICROSOFT FIRES ENTIRE DEVELOPMENT SECTION
CEO RESIGNS IN ABJECT APOLOGY

But no, all we ever get is customer service reps in India, weak-sauce explanations like "That's not a bug, it's a feature" or "It's obviously hardware's problem" or "You need to talk to the third-party developer of that software." Gah.

Never mind that your operating systems now have seven-gigajillionteen lines of code, all written by 500 different developers, none of whom is ever told what the guy in the next cubicle (or the next country) is doing.

By now, all my Apple-friends are screaming "Get a Mac!!!", my Linux-friends are screaming 'Ubuntu!!!" and both have merit, but sadly that doesn't solve my immediate problem. Truth is, I haven't got the money for a Mac or the time to surmount the open-source learning curve at the moment and I'm pretty well locked into the PC environment. And I'm frustrated with software that doesn't work, a company that makes it impossible to ask for help or provide feedback unless you pay, and useless error messages that are aimed at people who never made it past the third grade.

My experience of Microsoft Customer Support can be summed up in one word: This.

By the silken breast of Mogg's sainted mother, I really wish I could say "shibboleet" and talk to someone who a) knows what they're doing and b) gives a rat's south-40. As it is, I'm left with high blood pressure, no answers, and no help in sight.

But venting here has helped. Now back to my regularly-scheduled life.