The Customer is Not Always Right
Sep. 4th, 2009 03:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theoldwolfThis particular website always gives me both a laugh, and the shudders - dealing with the public is a horrendous challenge. Today I decided to submit one of my own; I reproduce it here, because not all submissions get published. But it's worthy... it's worthy.
I own a small company that sells a nutritional product online. Our 100% satisfaction guarantee states that customers can send a product back for any reason if they're not satisfied.
Customer: I want a refund for this product that I bought.
Me: I'm sorry you had a problem - what seems to be the trouble?
Customer: It's not working.
Me: I'm very sorry to hear that. Just return the bottle and I'll be happy to refund your money.
Customer: I can't. It's gone. And I want a refund on all five bottles that I've bought over the last year.
Me: Um. That would be like going into [Major Grocery Chain] and telling the manager you want a refund on a year's worth of groceries because you're not happy with your health.
Customer: How dare you compare your dinky little outfit with [Major Grocery Chain]! Your guarantee says 100% satisfaction, and I'm not satisfied!
Me: Ma'am, normally we'll refund the price of the initial order - and you've been using this product repeatedly for a year. But I tell you what. Just to keep you happy, I'll refund you half the price of the product you bought. That's the best I can do.
Customer: You should be ashamed! You are a thief and a criminal, and I'm telling everyone I know not to ever buy from you! How can you sleep at night? *Click*
I own a small company that sells a nutritional product online. Our 100% satisfaction guarantee states that customers can send a product back for any reason if they're not satisfied.
Customer: I want a refund for this product that I bought.
Me: I'm sorry you had a problem - what seems to be the trouble?
Customer: It's not working.
Me: I'm very sorry to hear that. Just return the bottle and I'll be happy to refund your money.
Customer: I can't. It's gone. And I want a refund on all five bottles that I've bought over the last year.
Me: Um. That would be like going into [Major Grocery Chain] and telling the manager you want a refund on a year's worth of groceries because you're not happy with your health.
Customer: How dare you compare your dinky little outfit with [Major Grocery Chain]! Your guarantee says 100% satisfaction, and I'm not satisfied!
Me: Ma'am, normally we'll refund the price of the initial order - and you've been using this product repeatedly for a year. But I tell you what. Just to keep you happy, I'll refund you half the price of the product you bought. That's the best I can do.
Customer: You should be ashamed! You are a thief and a criminal, and I'm telling everyone I know not to ever buy from you! How can you sleep at night? *Click*
