theoldwolf: (Default)
This morning I woke up with about 3,000 emails in my inbox, all of them saying that my message could not be delivered.

This is what I supposedly sent out to five jillionteen people:



Return-Path: <My Email Address>
Received: from User ([82.128.87.180])
(authenticated bits=0)
by mail.jackpc.com (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id o8D5JrkQ015754;
Mon, 13 Sep 2010 00:20:23 -0500
Message-Id: <201009130520.o8D5JrkQ015754@mail.jackpc.com>
Reply-To: <talk2barry@w.cn>

From: "MK"<My Email Address>
Subject: HI!
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 2010 07:21:19 -0600
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="Windows-1251"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000
X-Greylist: Sender succeeded SMTP AUTH authentication, not delayed by milter-greylist-3.0 (mail.jackpc.com [99.135.117.62]); Mon, 13 Sep 2010 00:20:55 -0500 (CDT)


Good day,
I have deposited your ATM card and associate document with the security company in West Africa, I traveled out of the country for official assignment and may not be back until December, What you have to do now is to contact the Security Company as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your package to you because of the expiring date.
For your information, I have paid for the Shipping fee, Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the ATM showing that it is not Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country. The only money you will send to the Security Company to deliver your ATM card direct to your postal Address in your country is US$180 Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of Security Company so far.
Again, don't be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except US$180 as any other fee asked from you is not acceptable. I would have paid that but they said no because they dont know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage. You have to contact the ALERT SECURITY COMPANY now for the delivery of your ATM card with this information bellow:
GUARANTEE SECURITY COMPANY
Mr. Barry Gibson
Email: talk2barry@w.cn

Also, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address(s) and Direct telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them to give you the tracking number as soon as you have paid the $180 to enable you track your package over there and know when it will get to your address.
Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security safe Keeping fee of US$180 Dollars for their immediate action.
You should also let me know through email as soon as you receive your ATM card.
Yours Faithfully,
MRS. MARY KOWALSKI
HEAD OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE




If anyone out there is trying to track down the actual senders of this email, please be aware that I did not send this abomination, and never would. The headers were forged, as is common with these drones and scumbags, may they forever wallow in eternal misery and disease!
theoldwolf: (Default)
At last, I can get the money that is coming to me.




(Emphasis mine)

From: Emmanuel Sam <emmanuelsam250@yahoo.com>
Subject: The truth. Form and ID attached.
To: federalpaymaster@presidency.com

My Dear,

The honest truth and reason why you have not received a dime from Nigeria or elsewhere over the years is that your country's central bank and your bank regulations do not allow or approve of a single wire transfer over $500,000.00 to your account.

We had in the past on resumption of duties wired your funds but all returned undelivered for this reason.

You can verify from your bank.

As you already know, the federal government approved your funds under indivisible guarantee bond to forestall any move by unscrupulous element in our banking sector to divert some part(s) of your funds. There is no way you can get your funds unless your fund is documented and approved to be divided into $500,000 single wire transfer each.

I don't care what anybody tells you. They are just after what they can extort from you.

Now, the only solution to this protracted debacle is to undo the indivisible quagmire through legal means and as such, an accredited attorney from the legal department of the Central bank of Nigeria will perfect a release order of a single payment of US$500,000 each which would wire transfer to your account without any problem.

You will no longer need all the clearance paperwork or any kind of unending bureaucratic bottlenecks as $500,000 wire transfer does not attract any penalty or demand for terrorism clearance in international banking operation.

The lawyer will only get $150 from you for this services and nothing else.

Meanwhile, complete attached form.

Thanks

Emmanuel Sam
Director, Special duties,
Foreign Operations Department
Federal Ministry of Finance
Phone: +234 805 456 8278






The sad part is that people are still falling for this nonsense. They must be, or the Lads from Lagos wouldn't bother sending out this hqiz...

theoldwolf: (Default)
Put a couple of items up for sale on my local Craigslist tonight. It didn't take more than an hour to get this email:

"hi there is this item still available? my sister will be moving in to her new home and would love her to have this item besides her birthday is around the corner please get back at me about the price and let me know
God Bless


Well, that sounded fine, so I wrote back with the price and availability, including my phone number for contact. 30 minutes later I get this:

"Oh i see,well that is ok.Thanks for the prompt response and i will love to make an instant purchase,so pls do withdraw the advert from Craigs list,i dont mind adding an extra $50 for you to take the advert down from Criags list,i want to be rest assured that nobody else gets a hold of the item.I will also like you to know that i will be paying via company certified cashier check,and it will be over night payment due to the distance.i will take care of that.So i will need you to provide me with the following information to facilitate the mailing of the cheque
1.Your full name
2.Your mailing address
3.Your phone number.
I am located in WV . I
just want to purchase the item for her as a surprise birthday present as this day is around the corner. I would also like to pay a.s.a.p I will be sending my mover to come pick up the item. but i hope that it is still in a very good condition. Bye"


Oh, brother. This is like one of those "how many things can you find wrong with the picture" exercises. I feel just like Tootle - red flags waving at me from everywhere!

Shall we count them? Consider this an exercise in what not to fall for on Craigslist, if you've never experienced this kind of thing.

1) The English is hideous.
2) An offer to pay more than the advertised price.
3) Paying with "company certified cashier check"
4) Wants my personal information
5) Claims they need to take care of this by mail 'because of the distance' - "WV" is "West Valley", about 20 minutes from where I live.
6) Sending "my mover" to come pick up the item.
7) I had already provided my phone number.

This spells "N I G E R I A N" with a capital Moron. My response back was a one-liner: "Dem no born you reach." That's Nigerian pidgin for "Don't even think about it." I resisted the temptation to throw in various insults as well>

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