The Cyber Troll

Those who know me are aware I participate in the comment forum over at Pibgorn. Occasionally a drooling moron will breeze through with an ignorant or abusive comment, leaving the foul stench of their presence hanging around like the miasma over a centuries-old, undrained swamp.

On January 15, 2009 I wrote a poem entitled The Cyber Troll in response to this sort of nonsense.

Today, fearciuil posted a rant about trolls, and I wanted to include a link to my poem in response. While I didn't find my original work on Google, I did find two copies out there that had been lifted without proper attribution. So to dispel any confusion, I post the poem here as my original work:

( The Cyber Troll )

Writer's Block: Ripped from the Headlines

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News about the economy, or anything that the government is doing, tends to make me angry. I see no real effort to make the world a better place, only to more thoroughly entrench positions of power and influence. Once again we were promised "no new taxes, not a penny" (ghostly shades of "read my lips!")... only to be told two months later that "we must tax and spend to save the economy." That makes me very angry because it's not the change I voted for. It's absolutely more of the same.

While I can't think of a specific recent news item that made me happy, I enjoy reading stories about people stepping outside of the box to make a difference in the lives of others, or lifting the human condition in general.

Chuckleheaded Engineering Award of the Year

<Rant On>

Last year I bought a new vacuum for my place. I've always believed that the bitterness of poor quality lasts long after the sweetness of low price has been forgotten, so I tend to buy things that will last. This time, I bought a Dyson DC07 all-floor model.



I've loved it. It's easy to use, easy to clean out, and like the advertising says, it doesn't lose suction.

But I have very sheddy carpets, and today I needed to clean out the roller brush, so I thought I'd just pull it out.

Long story short: After not being able to figure out how, spending an hour on the web looking for the instructions, and finally calling my local vacuum repair shop, the answer is:

You can't.

If the belt breaks, you have to take it in to have it replaced. And they have to replace the entire clutch assembly in the process. And it will cost you about $125.00 with parts, and labor. Holy flapping scrith! The whole flipping vacuum cost me about $400.00... so I need to pay ¼ the value of the machine to replace a $2.00 part?

Analogy: "Sure, Mr. or Mrs. American Car Owner. We'd be happy to replace your oil filter for you. But to do so, we have to pull the engine and replace the head assembly, and it will cost you $8,000.00".

Hello‽‽‽ Dyson engineers! What in the name of Zeus and the Music of the Spheres were you smoking when you designed that‽‽‽

I am moved nigh unto blasphemy - and you can bet I'm going to have words for the company when they re-open on Monday. If I had known this up front, there is no way I would have bought this vacuum, in spite of all its other good features.

Well, I'm not going to take it sitting down. When the time comes that I actually have to replace the belt, I'm going to learn how to do this myself, by hook or by crook.

Do yourselves a favor, folks. Don't buy one of these vacuums until they've re-engineered that glaring design flaw.

Mogg! That is so flipping stupid!


<Rant Off>