theoldwolf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
theoldwolf) wrote2012-02-10 12:24 pm
theoldwolf) wrote2012-02-10 12:24 pm
Entry tags:
Meme: Awesome Dad
You may or may not have caught this latest viral video, showing a dad getting all up in his daughter's face after she talked smack about her parents on Facebook, and thought they wouldn't know about it:
It didn't work.
In honor of the Most Awesome Tommy Jordan, I've created the "Awesome Dad" meme.
Here's the template: Go wild.
You the man, Tommy.
It didn't work.
In honor of the Most Awesome Tommy Jordan, I've created the "Awesome Dad" meme.
Here's the template: Go wild.
You the man, Tommy.
no subject
The Daughter:(assuming that what the father says is true):
1) Is expecting to be enabled with computer equipment and other luxuries that she has not paid for
2) Shows no appreciation for the time he has spent working on her computer
3) Talks behind his back, instead of trying to discuss the matter with him
4) Writes the letter as if she were talking to him, but clearly he isn’t the intended recipient
5) Is expecting to be paid for common household chores
6) She’s disrespectful of the lady who assists in keeping their house clean
7) The “too old to wipe your ass” comment was un-called for
The Father:(And some of this assumes that what the daughter says is true)
1) Smokes through the first two thirds of the video, and litters
2) Not setting a good example by retaliating against her online, when he’s complaining about her for the same reason. This is a case of do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do
3) Is expecting his daughter to undertake chores that are additional to what is reasonably expected; she’s correct in saying that she should not have to provide him with coffee or to attend to his own garden, or perform unpaid work at his clinic (there’s also OH&S issues there) – (the father doesn’t mention these in his list, but he doesn’t dispute them either)
4) She has a point about trying to study and perform chores at the same time; that’s not easy
5) “When I was your age…” is what is all too often said by people who forget that their circumstances at the time may have been easier than they are for people now.
6) “The last time you were grounded… and quite frankly I’ve forgotten now.” So exactly how important was the issue if he can’t even remember?
7) Child rearing problem + gun, does not = solution. Following his example the daughter may decide that a gun is *her* solution to *him*.
8) Fear, does not = respect
9) Why should the daughter have to pay for his bullets when she didn’t fire them?
10) “Comment about your mom” he doesn’t mention this anywhere in his narration
Grey areas:
Questions I would like to ask the daughter:
1) Has she tried to discuss these matters with him before posting on facebook? My first impression is that he doesn’t seem easy to reason with.
2) Is she making a genuine effort to find a job? The fact that we’re in a global financial crisis might be a reason she’s been unable to find one. I have two friends in North America and one friend here who have been unable to find work due to the recession.
3) What work does she do at her father’s clinic?
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I'm rather astonished at how many people are defending this kid. People have a right to their own opinions, of course - there's no law against that - but from where I stand, having raised 3 children and experienced some of the same kind of rebellion, I wish I had been more like this dad. They might have had fewer issues. On the other hand, it may have made no difference at all.
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I know from numerous experiences what happens when people hear only one side of a story. Do all parents tell the truth about the children all the time?
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Obviously the apple didn't fall far from the tree in this case and he's upset that this child chose to use a public forum to voice her discontent. Frankly, I'm not surprised that he's not out there publicly flogging her that way he acts. This is a clear case of "he said-she said" and if he acts like this to his daughter, that doesn't bode well for how he treats her mom.
I'm all for punishment fitting the crime. But this is a bit much.
There's a place for this and Youtube is not it.
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and the fun people are having with this ... is making me ill
I'm sorry my friend - but I find this post pretty disgusting.
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First: Teenagers are not supposed to be rebellious. In my book, that is a false assumption. Teens are only as rebellious as parents allow them to be. You see, I did the touchy-feely parent thing, believing that if I set a good example and taught my kids correct principles, they would walk the path that they were shown. Sadly, while my kids are good people at heart, they've certainly not adhered to the principles that they were taught, and one of them has done things that made my blood run cold. It's a miracle that she's still alive. No, I wish I had been more like this dad. In the end, it may not have made any difference to my kids, but it would have made a world of difference to me - I would not be constantly second-guessing myself as to whether I should have been strict instead of permissive.
Second: This is not about control, it's about consequences. This punishment is exquisitely adapted to the crime. The child - a spoiled, ungrateful, entitled, foul-mouthed brat - decided that she would take her insulting and degrading monologue public, thinking that mommy and daddy would never see it. It is only appropriate that the consequences of her action should be public as well. A lot of fathers would have taken this kid out to the woodshed and whaled her black and blue... I find this father's response measured, calculated, and immensely appropriate - and much more effective that a beating, which would have been disgusting, and only engendered more resentment.
Control? Does not our society control us? I can drive 140 km/H on the freeway in Quebec, (at 2:30 AM, when the road is deserted,) hurt no one, cause no damage, and still be pulled over by two revenue-hungry flics, escorted to an ATM, and be forced to pay $240.00 on the spot, or go to jail. Yet I was guilty of nothing under common law. Oh, our societies are all about control. And as we have seen, teenagers need to be controlled want to be controlled, and are begging to be controlled. They are crying out for parents to keep them in strait paths until their brains have matured enough to keep them from being a danger to themselves and others. If parents do not, this (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2011/12/5dba69456d6bfa8e613bd24430ac8b1a.png) is the result. Now that is disgusting.
Do you remember the "Ching-Chong-Ling-Long" girl? In today's world, if you want to be supremely ignorant in front of the world, you had better expect to be pilloried by the world. What I find interesting about this whole event is the number of teenagers who are stepping up and saying, "Right on. Dad got it right." It buttresses my thesis that kids want to be kept in check and permitted only to do things that will be beneficial to them, until they have the world experience to make their own choices.
I repeat: the child now has a choice. She can think about what she did, be grateful that she has a dad who cares enough to teach her what's right and what's wrong, and learn from the result, which would be a step toward responsible adulthood; or she can whine and complain about how unfair and ugly and vicious her mean old daddy was with his big .45, which will basically lead her to a life of entitled wretchedness.
This is how I feel, not a condemnation of the views of anyone else. Fortunately in this world, there is room for civilized debate.
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You're right we as a society set laws that set down what we believe to be unacceptable behavior, and we set out consequences there to. You're right - we as parents set out what we believe to be unacceptable behavior and consequences there to. However, there is still no CONTROL on how people behave in a free democratic society - you will be fined, charged and perhaps even locked up for a period of time - after that - you CAN choose to do it again. No one, as an adult CONTROLS your behavior.
Controlling another person is abuse.
I find his behavior and his consequences to be not about teaching consequences, but about controlling a person. He is abusive.
I say this as a survivor of a lifetime of physical and psychological abuse.
I know that non of this is going to change your deeply held beliefs or opinion, just as there really isn't anything that would change mine.
Which is why it breaks my heart, because it changes OUR relationship, and that hurts me more than you will ever know.
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This is true.
Controlling another person is abuse.
Controlling another adult is abuse. Taken to the extreme, one could argue that sending a child to its room, with or without supper, or witholding an allowance, or grounding for a period of time is also abuse, because it's definitely control.
Which is why it breaks my heart, because it changes OUR relationship, and that hurts me more than you will ever know.
It need not. I have friends who are gay, wiccan, transgendered, liberal, straight, 7th-Day Adventists, Republicans, rednecks, hippies, freegans, Muslims, Jews, and probably some disguised Romulans. To name a few. Co-belligerence, the concept of people with widely-opposing viewpoints, working together to improve the human condition, is one of the few saving principles I see when trying to build a world that works for everyone. People do not need to look at the world the same way, nor see one viewpoint as being somehow defective, less than, or threatening.
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HOWEVER, there do come times, when a person's viewpoint is so far outside of our own, as to exclude friendship. As I said to my ex husband during our divorce proceedings - it's not that I hate you, or that I can't let go of the pain of certain actions, it's just that that behavior changed forever my view of you and my feelings for you.
For me ... abuse is one of those issues. For me this is abuse, that you go beyond condoning it, to celebrating it, making light and making fun of it.... changes forever my viewpoint of our relationship. This one is too far outside my viewpoint of acceptable to condone it by calling it friendship. I'm sorry if that seems extreme or petty or mean spirited of me - to use an oft ill used phrase "this hurts me more than it'll hurt you".
I respect that your viewpoint is different than mine, and you are fully entitled and empowered to hold it, but I cannot subject myself to it - even in quiet acquiescence.
Go well.
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Based my response to a single incident, about which we have differing opinions, you have chosen to believe that I condone abuse. That's quite a stretch, and couldn't be farther from the truth. You are choosing to alter the status of a relationship that for years has been supportive and beneficial. In exchange, you get to keep being right. I hope that the price you are paying is worth the benefit.
I have always wished you joy and success, and continue to do so.
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I applaud this father for stepping up and putting his foot down after extracting it from his kids ass.
I used to be a hellion as a kid until my folks put their foot up my ass and made me "see the light". I am grateful to this day that I have a father who was like this one and a mother who agreed and supported him.
I only need look at the shambles that is the rest of my family to see the consequences of not taking a stand as a parent and showing the little snot nose ungrateful shit who is the PARENT and who is the CHILD. I have cousins in prison because of this attitude.
I only need to look at the shambles that society is becoming because of this delusuion you should be friends with your children and treat them as equals rather than be parents and teach them right, wrong, and the necessity of respect and work ethic. Children are not born with these values and if the parent does not do as this MAN just did and FORCE them into them they will never develop and you will end up with self absorbed little snots that post shit like this one did.
For the record. I never got a cent for my chores. It was expected. As my dad said when I was talking about other friends having allowances, "We pay for everything you have. That is your allowance. This is how you pay your mother and I back. Go do your chores." If I needed money and would ask and if my folks approved of it they would allow me to have some.
Speaking of money. I mowed lawns for spending money and then got a job as soon as I was young enough to have a work permit. But it was not MY money. I still had to get approval from my PARENTS to spend it because I was a CHILD and still didn't have the life experience or full mental development to know my ass from a hole in the ground.
As for controlling children. Damn straight. It is a parents responsibility to control their children until they have developed enough socially and mentally to be able to make decisions of right and wrong. We have all been in a restaurant while Rosemary's children run amok and the parents do nothing or "Children please come sit back down".
OceanSong. I am rather in disbelief you just chucked a friendship over something that is so basically right as to be nearly universal. Just...Damn...
Just wanted to support you Old Wolf. You are in the right on this one. What the hell has happened to society that this is even a debate.
Dennis Leary: "I can believe I have to even get upset at this shit."