Last night my neighbor, a delightful lady who is here in Salt Lake serving a mission, came knocking on my door wondering if I had any chocolate. She had had a rough day, and needed comfort food... she knows I'm a wicked sinner and came next door for a fix, and a listening ear.

Well, I was out of unhealthy stuff, so I dragged her down to Smith's marketplace and we each got a small carton of ice cream: she, some Ben & Jerry's triple-caramel obscenity or other, and I, Haägen-Daßzøðþœq Chocolate-Chip Cookie Dough. We spent the next two hours chatting and getting a severe ice-cream buzz, and I sent her home comforted.

From experience, I know that such depredations don't last long. So I loaded up a pint jar full of chocolate raisins (one of her favorite things), and left them on her doorstep with the following note:



So just a few minutes ago, here's this knock on my door, and she's bringing back a tupperware full of crystallized diabetes. She had just recently been to Okinawa to visit her son and his family - he married a Japanese girl, and they are raising their kids over there - and so she wanted to share this treat with me.

100% pure cane sugar, refined to perfection. Consistency: similar to maple sugar candy. Flavor: similar to blackstrap molasses. Effect:

I can't figure out why this blessed monitor won't stop shaking, I think I need to get it serviced...