Jul. 25th, 2010

theoldwolf: (Default)
I don't usually review movies that have been out on DVD for years, but I felt moved to do a little literary puking to get the bad vibes out of my system.

I'm glad to say that Ray Bradbury is still alive. If he were dead, you could hook his body up to an armature and power Las Vegas with the current generated from the rotation of his body caused by the awfulness of this film.

The makers had cast iron cojones, I can say that much. How can you make a film based on such an awesome short story and make nary a reference to the name, which was the whole point of the tale?

I watched this film to the end just yesterday, despite having heard how bad it was, because it cost me $2.00 at a Blockbuster closing sale and I wanted to get my money's worth. As it turned out, I didn't - and I'd like that two hours of my life back, please.

Oh, it was entertaining enough in a feeble way - but only if you ignore the worst CGI of the century, lackluster acting and plot holes large enough to drive an Antonov An-225 through. Oh, wait - that's wrong. The whole movie is a plot hole, with more irrationality than a closed-door meeting of the House Budget Subcommittee.

Everything about this film grated on me. Chicago of 2055 looked like a bad matte painting - oh, wait, it was. The cars all looked like 1/20 scale Ford Pintos rattling around on a Disney racetrack, and the poor T-Rex might just as well have been made of papier-maché. The Baboonosaurs were fairly well-animated, but watching a whole herd of them climbing up a building looked like a lot of cut-and-paste. The rest of the special effects were one technical disaster after another, and in fact almost every scene left me shaking my head and asking WTF? - nothing in this film made any *sense*. I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

Catherine McCormack was the only cast member who showed a hint of passion for her role - even the mighty Ben Kingsley seemed numbed by the phenomenal stupidity of the rôle which he had agreed to undertake. I'm sure he wakes up at 3 AM on some nights, drenched in cold sweat, screaming "What the hell was I thinking?"

This abortion should never have been made. As it was, on a scale from 0 to 10, it rates about a -5. I'm honestly surprised it wasn't directed by Alan Smithee.

Overall Rating: (With thanks to Mr. Cranky)
theoldwolf: (Default)
At last, I can get the money that is coming to me.




(Emphasis mine)

From: Emmanuel Sam <emmanuelsam250@yahoo.com>
Subject: The truth. Form and ID attached.
To: federalpaymaster@presidency.com

My Dear,

The honest truth and reason why you have not received a dime from Nigeria or elsewhere over the years is that your country's central bank and your bank regulations do not allow or approve of a single wire transfer over $500,000.00 to your account.

We had in the past on resumption of duties wired your funds but all returned undelivered for this reason.

You can verify from your bank.

As you already know, the federal government approved your funds under indivisible guarantee bond to forestall any move by unscrupulous element in our banking sector to divert some part(s) of your funds. There is no way you can get your funds unless your fund is documented and approved to be divided into $500,000 single wire transfer each.

I don't care what anybody tells you. They are just after what they can extort from you.

Now, the only solution to this protracted debacle is to undo the indivisible quagmire through legal means and as such, an accredited attorney from the legal department of the Central bank of Nigeria will perfect a release order of a single payment of US$500,000 each which would wire transfer to your account without any problem.

You will no longer need all the clearance paperwork or any kind of unending bureaucratic bottlenecks as $500,000 wire transfer does not attract any penalty or demand for terrorism clearance in international banking operation.

The lawyer will only get $150 from you for this services and nothing else.

Meanwhile, complete attached form.

Thanks

Emmanuel Sam
Director, Special duties,
Foreign Operations Department
Federal Ministry of Finance
Phone: +234 805 456 8278






The sad part is that people are still falling for this nonsense. They must be, or the Lads from Lagos wouldn't bother sending out this hqiz...

theoldwolf: (Default)


May peace and blessings and prosperity accompany you in your next trip around Sol.

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