The Customer is Not Always Right

This particular website always gives me both a laugh, and the shudders - dealing with the public is a horrendous challenge. Today I decided to submit one of my own; I reproduce it here, because not all submissions get published. But it's worthy... it's worthy.

I own a small company that sells a nutritional product online. Our 100% satisfaction guarantee states that customers can send a product back for any reason if they're not satisfied.

Customer: I want a refund for this product that I bought.

Me: I'm sorry you had a problem - what seems to be the trouble?

Customer: It's not working.

Me: I'm very sorry to hear that. Just return the bottle and I'll be happy to refund your money.

Customer: I can't. It's gone. And I want a refund on all five bottles that I've bought over the last year.

Me: Um. That would be like going into [Major Grocery Chain] and telling the manager you want a refund on a year's worth of groceries because you're not happy with your health.

Customer: How dare you compare your dinky little outfit with [Major Grocery Chain]! Your guarantee says 100% satisfaction, and I'm not satisfied!

Me: Ma'am, normally we'll refund the price of the initial order - and you've been using this product repeatedly for a year. But I tell you what. Just to keep you happy, I'll refund you half the price of the product you bought. That's the best I can do.

Customer: You should be ashamed! You are a thief and a criminal, and I'm telling everyone I know not to ever buy from you! How can you sleep at night? *Click*

Civilization

And we wonder why SETI has never gotten an answer?

This is an extremely clever video. (It's bigger over at YouTube.) The "Rite of Spring" seems a perfect fit.

Yas, yas, I know someone could put together a similar piece that shows all the wonderful and good and uplifting things about our species, but the fact remains that this facet of humanity is there... frankly if I were a Vogon I wouldn't think twice about pressing the big red button...

It was Great to Know Ya, Barkeater Lake!

Corey Pandolph has made the difficult decision to discontinue Barkeater Lake. Apparently there's just too much on his plate, and the time is right.



I shall miss it. On the gripping hand, he's got Greene with Envy up and running - I like it already.

The Weird Book Room

Abebooks, with whom I have an ongoing relationship, just sent me an email inviting me to check out their Weird Book Room.

After perusing the titles listed there, I have to say, yes, yes it is. Very.